Thursday, April 12, 2012


Well, we went in for my doctor's appointment and ultrasound on Tuesday and got some bad news. The baby was diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Disruption, which basically means that it's growth stopped or severely slowed at some point. It's measuring at just 3 lbs, 9oz right now. All of the organs are fully developed, he's just really small. (and no! even though we had another ultrasound, we did not find out the sex. I'm still referring to the baby as 'he' because I like it more than 'it!')

Basically the risks are that the uterus is a stressful place for such a little baby. I'm going in for monitoring regularly now and they could induce me or order a c-section at any time. The monitoring isn't so bad--I wear two belts around my belly and they have to track movements and heartbeat at the same time. As long as the baby's heartbeat is going up when he moves, he's doing alright in there.  The scariest times are in between doctor's visits--I have the fear that the baby will go into distress and I won't know about it until it's too late. I'm trying to not over-obsess with kick counts, but it's hard. The baby has been moving a lot, but any time he's not, I worry.

After the baby is born the biggest concerns are a weaker immune system, trouble regulating temperature and trouble eating. The hospital will probably keep the baby for awhile until in gains enough weight and we know that it can eat/breath/maintain temperature on his own. My doctor doesn't think it'll be safe to go longer than next Friday. I'm hoping that he'll gain a good amount by then so we can take him home soon.

Everything I'm reading and hearing is assuring me that the baby should be perfectly healthy, just really tiny. I'm disappointed that things won't be how I envisioned them (breastfeeding will most likely be a challenge...I probably won't get to hold Bee right away after he's born....I could need a C-section). But more than anything, I want a healthy baby. It's awful to hear that there's something different or wrong with your unborn child and I've been really scared for the past few days, and things just feel different. I don't care anymore about pain during delivery or recovery after a c-section--I really just want Bee to be here and to know that he's going to be ok. That's not really a realistic goal for ANY parent though--no one ever knows that their child is going to stay safe and healthy. This is a challenge that we'll have to get through and scary time--but I have every confidence that God is good and it is all in his hands. We have been so blessed by the Bee presence in our lives already and we know that we will continue to be blessed, no matter what. 

Prayers for the next two weeks are much appreciated!


  1. Aww, I'm sorry you got that scary news. NICUs are no fun but are definitely in the best interest of the baby. And u/s are known to be off, especially so late, so s/he is hopefully a little bigger than the estimate.
    Good luck!

  2. Dealing with this same news here. It is great to read your positive results. Hoping in a few weeks I will feel like all this worrying was for nothing. Thanks for sharing!

  3. let me know if you have any questions AMckginder! I know how scary it is to hear bad news at appointments. Hang in there!