Wednesday, November 30, 2011

He (definitely) Kicks!

I thought I'd jot a quick note marking the first really strong kick I felt on the outside of my belly. Last night, as i was watching TV I felt some movements, so I put my hand on the left side of my belly and he gave a few quick jabs! It was way cool. I tried to let Josh feel, but man--that baby is stubborn!. He would not kick for his Dad all night long.

So that's my news. Not much else going on. Josh has taken to calling the baby Bumblebee, which I think is super adorable. I will probably start referring to him/her as that on here as well.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

My Nursery Inspiration Board!


Well, here it is. I made an inspiration board! Now normally, I'm not really into nursery "themes". I think it's a little silly to spend a lot of time and money on coordinating everything into a theme. But I love bright colors, and I have fallen in love with  these pieces from The Hungry Caterpillar. So here's what I'm thinking--I love the caterpillar crib sheets in the top right corner. They're from Pottery Barn. I also love the bear and kangaroo prints. They're available on amazon. I want to frame them and hang them on the wall. The walls of the nursery will be white, so I think it will be nice to add some color. I also like the colorful fabric swatches on the right. They're from an Eric Carle fabric collection. I would like to make curtains out of them, and possibly a bed skirt as well. Other than that, I just want to fill the room with tons of bright, colorful items. I like the green, red, purple color scheme and might stick pretty closely. with that.  So, it's not really a TON of themey items. I just really love the colors, and I think it's a nice palette that will be fun for either sex. I have discovered recently that I really hate the sickeningly pastel palettes that are so popular for babies. I don't think they're very fun, and I don't think I would enjoy living in such a room.  I am a little weary of trying to put this room together, because I know I'll be gifted a ton of items that don't really "go". And while it doesn't really matter (babies don't know the difference), I think I would be disappointed if I worked to make it look a certain way, and then had to scramble to find places for things that don't coordinate. So it's still just an idea, for now. At the very least, I think I am going to order the crib sheets. They are just too cute to pass up.

Black Friday Deals!

Well, as promised, this is my update on the furniture we scored on Black Friday. Babies R Us offered the Graco Lauren crib and matching changing table for $149. This is not too shabby, as the crib alone usually retails for $189. We were planning on heading over to our local store when we woke up to see if they had any left. I didn't fancy the idea of waiting in like at 4 in the morning, and I wouldn't be heartbroken if we missed out on the deal, so I figured that would be the best thing to do.

When I checked out the website the night before, it seemed to say that I could get the same deal online, starting at 5 am. So I set an alarm for 4:45, then grabbed my laptop to see if I could get it. To my annoyance, it seemed that they had posted the deals much earlier, because all of the changing tables were sold out (and you couldn't get the crib at a lowered price without the changing table). I stayed up for awhile anyway, and kept refreshing the page to see if there would be any changes. To my surprise, a white changing table became available. I put it and a crib in my cart and was able to check out from the comfort of my bed.


The crib is designed to grow with our child. It can be converted into a toddler bed, and the back part of the crib is a headboard for a full size bed.  White wasn't our first choice. We liked a dark wood. I think white is a little bit girly, and I don't think it will look as nice when it is made into a full bed. So we're going to see if we can get it exchanged at our local store once they get more in stock. If they won't do it, we can certainly make the white work. 


Though it wasn't a purchase, we also acquired a very special cradle this weekend. Josh's parents brought up their family cradle for us to use for the baby. Josh's beloved Opa made it before Josh's oldest sister was born, and Josh and his siblings all used it as infants. We will be putting it in our bedroom, and keeping the baby in their with us for the first few months (there's no way I'm getting up and moving to a separate room when this kid wake up to eat five times each night). We're moving from our current home in the summer. We'll probably use the cradle in our room until the move, and then set up the crib in the new nursery in St. Louis.  The baby will be about 4 months by then, and hopefully sleeping through the night (fingers crossed!) We're going to need to get sheets made for the cradle, and we may replace the mattresses. I'm happy that we get to use this piece of family history, and we all know that Josh's Opa would be proud to have a great-grandchild being rocked to sleep in the cradle he worked hard to make . 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

My trusty cookbook
I have been a busy bee this week, preparing for my first Thanksgiving hosting family! I gotta say, I was a little bit nervous. I'm not used to cooking for more than two, and I've never made Thanksgiving food before (save for mashed potatoes, of course).  I decided to stick with a really simple menu. My parents got me a newlywed edition of the Better Home and Gardens Cookbook as a wedding gift, and lo and behold, it had four Thanksgiving menus--ranging from beginner to expert. I happily stuck with the beginner menu-- roasted turkey, garlic whipped mashed potatoes, home baked stuffing, green bean casserole, and pan gravy. Josh, who been a hobby baker the last few weeks, whipped up some homemade rolls on Wednesday afternoon. Josh's mother contributed some delicious homemade pies and cranberry salad.

I say that I made the turkey, because I looked up the recipe, arranged the ingredients, and kept an eye on things. But the reality is that I wasn't touching that raw bird in my current delicate state (hello nausea). Josh made the turkey. I just watched. I also don't do mashed potatoes. I don't know if this is normal, but in my household growing up, that was a man's job. So Josh made the potatoes as well. In his Kitchenaid mixer. So really all I did was the two casseroles and the gravy. And put together the menu. Am I a lazy host?

I was pleasantly surprised by how well cooking went. Turkey is ridiculously easy to make, as is stuffing and green bean casserole. The hardest part was probably finding a place to put all of the food!
Our Table. Note that there's very little food on it.
And yes, I did have a small glass of wine. Sue me. 

Buffet-style is more our style
I think next year I'm ready to move on to a more advanced menu. I had a lot of fun cooking for everyone and I was very pleased with the results. I think I'm going to try and serve a big holiday meal for Christmas as well, when my family comes up. 

Josh, carving his first turkey
My plate. A picture for my sister. 

We're going to try and brave the Black Friday crowds tonight to go over to Babies R Us and score a good deal on a crib. I'll post about my success rate later on. Wish me luck!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Doctor's Appointment! Week 17

Our doctor's appointment on Thursday went really well. All of my current lab work is coming back perfectly. I had to get a pap smear that made me sore for a full 24 hours! Yowza. The baby's heart rate is strong and normal at 140. According to an old wive's tale, heart rates about 140 mean we're having a girl, and below means boy. Our baby would  keep us guessing! I gained three pounds since my last appointments (weighing in at 133). The doctor said that I'm on track for weight gain. We scheduled the anatomy scan for December 13th. I am so excited (and a little nervous) to see the baby again. The A/S will determine, more than anything we're doing, that the baby is healthy and growing properly. Since my due date is a little harder to determine (due to my insanely irregular and long menstrual cycles), we'll also get to see how far along the baby is at that point. This will also be the appointment where we could find out the sex, if we were wanting to do so. Josh is firmly in the "we're waiting" camp, which is good because I'm already starting to get tempted!

I also took my measurements last night. I am expanding! I am now 38-34-34. That is (for anyone counting), 4 inches on my bust, six inches on my waist (!), and my hips have stayed the same (though I'm guessing that won't be true for long....).  I'm looking forward to my waist line being bigger than my chest, because I'm guessing that will make me look more pregnant and less flat. As it stands, my clothes hang off my chest, so it's hard to get the defined "bump" unless I'm defining it with my hands or a belt around my ribs (which just seems like attention whoring).

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

On the Lighter Side

So throughout this pregnancy, I haven't had very many severe symptoms. Morning sickness didn't happen for me. Cravings and aversions have been minimal. My boobs haven't been sore and I haven't had a single hot flash.  Sure, I was tired during the first trimester, that's to be expected. I've also had my share of acne in the past few weeks. But something has hit me in the last month or so that I wasn't expecting to be so severe: pregnancy brain.

I'm quite forgetful and on top of that--my thought process can be a little bizarre at times.  I don't just forget where I put my keys or my cell phone, I also forget what I'm talking about in the middle of a sentence, and sometimes I have trouble finding the words I need for the point I'm trying to make.

This story illustrates my current pregnancy symptom. It happened two nights ago.

I was sitting on the couch on my laptop, which is a pretty normal scene for me. I had been surfing for about an hour when I got up to get myself a snack. When I lifted the computer, I noticed that there was a thick, brown goo completely covering my lap and the bottom of my trusty computer. The thought that sprang immediately to my mind was a very panicked "OH NO! I CRAPPED MY PANTS". Now, for a normal person, maybe this would be the first thought that popped into their head (or maybe not). But I was convinced, for a good five minutes, that I had indeed crapped myself while sitting with the computer, and had not noticed. I was trying to figure out if I had ever heard of this as a pregnancy symptom before (I hadn't). Now I think it's important to keep in mind that (1) This mysterious brown substance was on the top of my thighs. And people don't crap out of their thighs. (2) Pregnant, or not, I would have noticed if I had crapped myself. But these matters made no difference to me. I was nearing tears over my predicament, and trying to figure out how to sneak out of the living room without Josh noticing (because crapping your pants all over your computer is humiliating) when my right mind caught up with me and I realized that it was a chocolate bar that I had unwrapped, set in my lap, promptly forgot about and proceeded to put my hot laptop on top of.

So there you have it, a funny pregnancy story of one of my most severe symptoms--Some women spend nine months puking, but I may be in store for five more months of downright crazy thoughts running through my head. I gotta say, I do think they're preferable to the puking (at least I got a good story out of it)

Dear Baby,

If you could stop punching me in the cervix, that would be awesome.

Love, Mom

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Did he or didn't he?

This is a post about the baby. For the sake of this blog (and in my real life, really), I will always refer to the baby as "he". It just feels more "right". We've been thinking from day one that this kid is definitely a boy. And while I'm well aware of the odds, I'll reserve the right to think of my child as a masculine child until I am proven wrong.

Apparently, my child is now the size of an avocado
But anyway... I have reached by sixteenth week of pregnancy, which is nearing the four month mark. The milestone that I (think) I hit this week is that I have felt movement from the baby. Now it's very difficult to tell if what's going on in there is actual baby movement, or just air bubbles, hunger pangs, or my uterus stretching out. But I'm believing more and more that it is movement from the life growing inside of me (haha...I love all of the cheesy phrases I get to use when I'm pregnant). It feels sort of like a popping, but against the wall of my stomach. It's always in about the same area..just to the right of my belly button. In the same spot, I've also felt flutters that will last several seconds. My understanding is that in the next few weeks, as the baby grow, I will become more and more assured of what I am feeling. 16 weeks is on the low end of the normal period for feeling movement. So it could be my mind playing tricks on me, or it could be the beginning of a new and exciting phase of pregnancy. Baby movement seems like so much fun, and I can't wait until I can tell exactly what's going on in there, and for when others can feel the kicks and punches as well.

Dexter-Induced Homesickness

Last night, I got to do one of my absolute favorite things. I curled up in bed with my husband, and watched the latest episode of Dexter in the dark. Josh and I love Dexter. It's one of the only shows that we can watch together and enjoy equally.
To our absolute delight, we found out very quickly that the latest episode was titled Nebraska.Having lived in Nebraska for the past five years or so, we have developed a certain fondness for it, and we really excited to get to see how Dexter's story would take him there.

Dexter in a Nebraska cornfield
As usual, the show didn't disappoint. Dexter traveled to Kearny, Nebraska "unwind" from the latest stresses of his life by doing what he does best; tracking and killing a murderer. I loved getting to see my old home state. I doubt the episode was actually shot in Nebraska, but the set designers did a great job of capturing the small-town feel of Kearny. Dexter's alter-ego quipped "One good tornado would be a huge improvement for this town". I loved the scene where Dexter is completely perplexed by the kindness of a local, who offers to fix his blown tire for him. The "Welcome to Kearny Sign" was followed by a tagline that I have seen all throughout the state of Nebraska: "The Good Life".  Everything about the episode reminded me of what I have come to think of as my home. And it made me realize how homesick I really am.

Back in April, I was sitting in the banquet hall of my college, waiting to hear where I would be placed for my year-long internship. The internship could take us anywhere (there were even rumors of an Alaska placement). Like the rest of my fellow interns, I sat there, not know where I would go--but knowing that I certainly didn't want to end up staying in Nebraska. Every year, one unlucky person would be chosen to stay locally, and I didn't want it to be me--I was ready to get out of that state and move on to bigger and better things.

And I ended up here in Michigan. I was one of the lucky ones who got to move more than an hour away. And so we settled down into a new life here. And quickly learned that outside of our cozy haven in Seward, not everything is exciting and new. Michigan has been hit hard by the recession. Of the twenty or so auto plants that used to exist in our county, only two remain open. 100,000 people in this city alone have lost their jobs in the last seven years. It is an extremely depressed place, and extremely difficult to live in. Poverty is literally all around us, and with it, crime. Since moving here, a teenager has been shot and killed at our local grocery store. Two families from my congregation have moved due to drug and gang activity happening right outside of their homes. Where Josh works, a coworker got punched in the face so that a pack of cigarettes could be stolen.

We very rarely go out at night, and I very rarely go out alone. We just don't feel safe here. And it is so foreign to us not to feel safe. In the trusty town of Seward, our doors were always unlocked (a Midwestern habit that wasn't lost on Dexter). Despite the fact that there was only one bar, and a one screen movie theater in our small town, we could walk to those places at midnight and feel perfectly safe. We did it often in the summertime. I miss having that security. I miss the kindness of strangers that didn't make me suspicious of their intentions. I don't feel like I could ever be at home here, and it makes me really sad.
"Where do you hid a body when there isn't an ocean?" 
In a silo, that's where.

Of course, the same cannot be said for Dexter.
Being from Miami, he was uncomfortable in a place where everyone was all too aware of his presence and paid attention to his action.I can't relate to Dexter, there (and I should hope that I never do). It was great to get to see a place that I love so much on a show that I love so much. Nebraska became a place of healing for Dexter, and I hope that those who watched him were able to think of Nebraska fondly. I know that many people look down on small town life (and I can't say with complete honesty that I haven't been on of them). But I have truly grown to love it. And I hope that I can return to that lifestyle sometime very soon.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My Day with the Very Young and Very Old

Today, I had the pleasure of getting to spend some time with two very different ladies. Evi Noelle was born last Thursday--she is only five days old. Arlene is a 90 year old shut in, who spends all day every day sewing scraps together to make very elaborate quilts. Getting to meet and interact with both made me really think about how short life really is, and how no matter how different we are from one another, we really do start and end the same way. I though I would write a little bit about my experience with these two girls and highlight some of the similarities and differences.
not really Evi....so sue me

Evi was born via C-Section in Flint, Michigan last week. Her mom Kelli brought her to my young mom's Bible Study. Evi weight 9 lb, 6 oz at birth. She currently weighs 8 lb, 12 oz. Evi slept through most of our hour together, curled up into a little ball on her mother's chest. She has a wisps of light blonde hair and yellowish skin from jaundice. She was dressed from head to toe in an adorable purple outfit, that was accessorized by a headband bow and tiny printed socks. Her mother had obviously  picked out the outfit carefully to show her off to the other women in our group. I don't know (at least I can't recall) if I have ever interacted with a baby this young before. Her tininess was striking. In particular, her ears and hands kept grabbing my attention. They were so miniature, and yet so complex. She would try to grip her mother's finger with her hand, and all of the muscles and joints in her hands are already so perfect. It's a beautiful thing to see. Evi's dissatisfied grunts were also facsinating. She was perfectly content until she needed her diaper changed. Obviously, having her wet skin exposed to the cold air was not on her agenda this morning. She only has a few very basic needs right now; she likes to be fed and kept warm. It's amazing how fast those needs change. Babies so quickly need to be entertained and stimulated. She's going to grow up in the blink of an eye, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. Sure, every milestone is exciting and no one wants their kid to remain a baby forever--we have them so that they will grow up. But it's difficult to see tiny and perfect Evi and not wish she could stay that way just a little bit longer. My hope is that I am prepared to soak up my baby's littleness. It seems like such a fleeting time--so easy to forget in the flurry of new responsibilities as a kid gets older and older.


Not Arlene

Arlene is a 90 year old shut-in that is a member of my church. I visited her this afternoon, and boy, was she excited! The first thing I noticed when I walked up to Arlene's house was a dozen dolls that she had perched in her front window. They stare out at visitors and are entirely creepy. Arlene hobbled up to the door to let me in, using a walker. She was dressed in worn out jeans and a cardigan set. She was hunched over and thin. He skin was wrinkled and sallow. She was delighted to see me. Arlene and I chatted for about two hours. She proudly showed off the two dozen quilts she had made so far this year, and pointed out who each one was going to. She also took me down to her sewing room and talked about how the sewing keeps her busy so that she doesn't go crazy from boredom and loneliness. For her age, Arlene had a very sharp mind and was in pretty good physical shape. In particular, Arlene wanted to point out a memorial quilt she had made for all of her girlfriends. She explained to me that she had once belonged to this wonderful group of friends, who supported one another for decades. Even though Arlene was the youngest of them, she has had to watch them all die, one by one, over the last ten years. Her eyes filled with tears as she told me that she wanted to pick up the phone recently to tell one of them a funny story, but she realized that she couldn't. Her loneliness and longing for her friends consumed our conversation. It struck me how real the need for social interaction is, and how that never goes away. When I think about being elderly, I generally imagine it with my husband, or my children surrounding me. It has never really occurred to think about what my life will be like if I'm the last one left for many years. Arlene also proudly showed me pictures of her great-grandchildren, the newest of which was just born in June, and had been given the same middle name as Arlene, to honor her. Arlene has obviously lived a life full of love.


Going from one extreme to the other in a single day was very interesting for me. I enjoyed my time with both Evi and Arlene, two kinds of people that I haven't had much interaction with in the past. I have a lot to learn about newborns, but all too soon I will also need to know more about the elderly and how they survive in a world that can be lonely. 90 years really isn't that much time to get from where Evi is to where Arlene is. I hope that Evi's life can be filled with as much love and joy as Arlene's has been.

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Great Gender Debate

I thought I'd write a little bit about our decision to be "team green". That is, we have decided not to find out the gender of the baby at our Anatomy Scan next month. Instead, we're gonna do it the old-fashioned way. We'll find out in the delivery room. It took us a long time to finally land on that choice (and honestly, until the anatomy scan is over, I think a part of me will always think about changing our minds)

To start out with, I've always love the idea of waiting to find out the sex. I though it sounded like great fun. I've read several blogs describing finding out the gender in the delivery room and almost everyone who has done has said it's the greatest feeling in the world. I like the idea of Josh getting to look down and be the one to announce to the room "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". I think it would be a really cool thing for him to get to do, since he can't, you know... carry the kid around inside of him for nine months.

That being said...when I actually got pregnant, a couple of things prevented me from sticking with my preference 100%. The first one is kind of shallow:
 The CLOTHES! omg, is anything as cute as baby clothes? And on top of that, is anything cuter than gender-specific baby cloths? Just look at that tiny flannel shirt for a baby boy. And the lovely lacy dress for a little girl. They're like GROWN UP clothes. But tiny. I can barely even handle how cute they are. 

Whereas gender-neutral clothes tend to look something like this: 
Hmmm... not so cute. Now the rational part of my brain says "you can buy all the gender-specific stuff you want after the kid is born." Well I understand that, Brain. But that doesn't help me when I'm walking by Baby Gap and I see the tiniest sweater vest I've ever seen and it looks EXACTLY like one that Josh has and I can't buy it, because what if the baby's a girl?

The second reason we have considered finding out is a little more serious, so bear with me through this journey into my feelings. Since finding out I was pregnant, I have not always been super-excited about it. In fact, sometimes it has down-right depressed me and put me in a pretty dark place. I have been very anxious about all the changes that are coming and very sad about a lot of the things we'll have to give up to make room for a baby in our lives. This sadness makes me feel incredibly guilty. The truth of the matter is, that it has been hard to think of the baby as a person so far. For a long time, it was just two lines on a pregnancy test, and now, it's just an ultrasound picture on  my refrigerator. Humanizing the baby was very difficult for me throughout my first trimester. Josh has been very worried for my mental health during these dark times, and we have both felt that finding out the gender could help a lot. I imagine it would be easier to picture a face it I knew if it were a boy or a girl. So it was for this reason, more than the clothing, that we have seriously considered find out.

While we had at least one very good reason for not finding out, we had trouble pin-pointing an exact reason for waiting other than...'well...it sounds like fun'. We both like surprises, but we weren't sure if it would be the right thing to do. We were finally able to decide one night, when we were talking about our wedding. On our wedding day, we decided not to see one another until the ceremony. It's not something that is done very often these days, and there wasn't a real reason for it other than "we wanted to". But Josh mentioned to me how much he loved the anticipation. And how meaningful it was for him to see me walking down the aisle on our wedding day. He said it has been one of the best moments of his life.
Somehow, his assertion that the "surprise" of seeing me that day was so overwhelmingly special and beautiful really sealed the deal for us. We have always liked doing things the old-fashioned way, and this just feel right for us. Since coming to this choice a few weeks ago, I have been able to enjoy my pregnancy a lot more. A lot of my depression and anxieties over being pregnant have lightened. Being able to tell everyone around me and looking and feeling more pregnant has helped a lot. There's a lot of pregnancy milestones that I'm looking forward to now. I can't wait to see how much the baby has developed when we have our anatomy scan next month. I'm really excited to start feeling the baby move (which could be any day now). And showing off my ever-expanding belly will be awesome. I'm ok with not experiences in the "gender reveal" milestone right now. For us, I think waiting will be a wonderful experience.

If it's lame an we regret it...I'll be sure to let you know, so that you don't make the same mistake! ;)