Saturday, April 21, 2012

Further Reflections on New Parenthood

Phew, the past 48 hours have been a blur! It's crazy to think it's only been two days since I was pregnant and had no idea who the little person was that was growing inside of me! I don't get a lot of hand's-free time, but I had a minute, so I thought I'd update.

Rhett is in the Special Care Nursery here at the hospital. It's not a NICU, but it is for babies that are having a little more trouble than average infans. He's doing really well. We're not sure when he'll be able to come home, but right now his goals are to regulate his temperature and take food properly. He's being weaned off of his I.V. today and we're giving him pumped breast milk. He's doing well with bottles, so I'm thinking that his feeding won't be an issue. Even if he can't breastfeed right away, I can pump for him with confidence that he'll do fine with eating.

They're slowly turning down the temperature in his incubator, and so far, he's doing fine with it. I'm hopeful that by the end of the night he'll be in a normal bed.

We haven't gotten a clear answer on whether or not he's going to need to stay here just to gain weight, and if so, how much he'll need to gain. He hasn't lost too much of his birthweight, so hopefully now that he's eating he'll put on some ounces really soon.

They are doing the billirubin test again tomorrow morning. They think he looks like he has a little jaundice, so he'll probably need some hours under the heat lamps for that.

So overall... he is doing well, getting stronger and better all the time, and I'm hopeful that he'll be home with us really soon. I'm getting discharged tomorrow, though I'm not sure what time. My recovery has been mostly ok. I'm in a lot more pain today than I was yesterday, which I didn't expect. I thought it would just keep getting better. But it hasn't been terrible.

Everything is harder emotionally than physically. Physically, I'm doing fine and Rhett is doing amazing. But it's hard to be away from him from so many hours a day and to not be the person in charge of his care-taking. I get really jealous of the nurses when they talk about his likes and dislikes. I freaked myself out on the internet yesterday by googling 'the first 24 hours of an infant's life". There was a lot there about how important it is to bond with your baby and how much they need breastmilk right away. It's been tough not getting to spend quality time with him. But I keep trying to remind myself that what's being done is for him and he needs it. I also keep telling myself that he'll be with us soon enough, and then he'll be all ours. Its tough, but we're blessed. I'm very aware that many, many parents and babies go through so much worse. We've spent the last few weeks being so worried about him and I'm so overjoyed that he's here and that he's going to be ok. I just miss him when I'm not with him and I hate that I can't cuddle him without his wires getting in the way. But SOON...very soon, our little son will be home with us where he belongs. We ARE blessed and I'm trying really hard to keep my emotions in

Here's some photos of us from today:
The men in my life

Family of three!
He loves his paci

Post-Partum Hannah

Snuggled up with Mama

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