Josh is dropping in to write down some of his thoughts on fatherhood and marriage. Enjoy!
Being a dad is a lot arder than I ever thought it would be. This weekend Rhett has been sick....or teething.......or something. It's hard to be sure. All we know is that he had a temperature of 100.2 and cried every time he wasn't getting held. Needless to say no one slept well.
But this isn't what I wanted to write to you about. I guess what all this has made me realize is how soft having a child has made me. I thought I had grown a little soft after getting married. Admittedly, I have cried while watching a movie or reading a book about the prospect of loosing her. But still, I have yet to cry as hard as when a song plays or a tv show airs about a father loosing or missing out on his son's childhood. Which is ridiculous. And why when the tears and such begin to flow together off my chin, I begin to laugh. It is utterly ridiculous that I would cry about missing out on my son's childhood while my son has yet to be a child!
My heart has literally shattered this month over the thought that one day Rhett will ask to borrow the car keys. It imploded while reading a book and the author referenced a time when he had to give marriage advice to a couple no loger in love.
I love my family. I am so proud of them. I take every chance I get to brag about my wife's academic prowess. I guess what I am saying is that all the tears become worth it at the point when Rhett is on my knee cooing; and he looks up at me smiles, and with his kind loving eyes he tells me that he is secure. And I see that and even though thats a tall order to fill and my heart wants to sink into the very pit of my stomach, I am so thrilled to be loved by my family.
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